Cardinal Song | The National
Let her treat you like a criminal
So you can treat her like a priest
i don’t want to have feelings for you, again. the feeling that you might be in town and hoping you’re wanting to see me is so stupid. we have different paths now, paths that will lead us into different directions. sometimes, i hope our paths intertwine again and create a detour. and i hope this detour comes soon because i can’t find another reason to stop for anyone but you. maybe you are just a detour, a short route to escape. i find joy in you but it’s never for long. you’re just this cafe I find along my way. I stopped by hoping for a coffee but ended up with the conversation of my life. I know I have to walk out soon and carry on but i’ll never bump into someone like you again. like a stranger I find sitting next to on the flight to Chicago, I didn’t expect you and you weren’t special even when I saw you, but I never opened up to a stranger as much as I exposed my soul to you through that 4 hours. now every time I fly somewhere, I would joke lightly about destiny and hope you’re conveniently on a flight back to Charlotte as well. and one of these days, i’m going to have to get back on track and continue with my route but i want you to walk out that cafe with me. i don’t want anyone but you in the passenger seat, i want to drive to point B with you by my side.
i don’t know if it was the alcohol or what but tonight i’ve never seen my ‘friends’ as fake as i’d seen through our 6+ years of friendship. this kills me because i’ve put up with this for so long and i wondered why i haven’t changed for the better. it kills me because i know the very reason. am i as fake as them, is that why i’ve been sticking with them for half of my life? i have nobody else as two-faced and shallow to be with because no one wants a friend with such shitty personality as me. i can see their lies spilling out their mouths and it kills me to know thats who i’ve been with for so long. i wish i could make an excuse and say i’ve had a reason as to why they’re my friends but when it all comes done by the end of the day, realization slaps me in the face. i can’t do better. i really have no friends. none of them care and not a hint of trust can be found. i surround my free time with them because they’re my only friends. wow. all that free time could of gone towards my future and i spend it like that. yeah, i’m that kind of person. i shouldn’t be the one talking. i really shouldn’t because i’m the same as everyone one of them tonight. we all hate each other and ourselves. it’s just sad i waste my teenage years like that. and if this isn’t motivation to finish my senior year strong and move away for college from this mess, i don’t know how i can live with myself. i need a new start and i know that’s what every boring teenage girl says but i do. badly, if i want to re-evaluate myself. i never wanted a group of friends i can be sober with and play pictionary with since 7th grade. if this doesn’t wake me up, i’m doomed. i don’t think i’m drunk anymore, i’m not as sad anymore because i’m not with them.